If you’ll allow me, I want to review with you some faith establishments to help you in your walk with Jesus.
First, being a disciple of Jesus is a result of the conviction of faith born from the Word of Revelation that he or she received when exposed to the Gospel, faith does not come from the man/woman as part of their intention to follow Jesus, it is the Word itself that gives them a measure of faith, which will be the basis on which the person will build his or her spiritual life. Faith is not a “security” that the person can feel —or believe he or she feels— in moments of his or her life, faith that arises from self-motivation is actually a positive thought that is far from making the person grow spiritually;
Faith is born from the Word, hence to grow in faith it is necessary to expose oneself to the written Word of God, or transmitted by the Holy Spirit directly to the person.
Second, the life of faith does not depend on interaction with a church, you are not in a good standing with the Lord just because you attend a church, or because you participate in its activities, the life of faith grows as you “do” the Word; I think you have read at some point the recommendation of the apostle James when he taught about the importance of not being forgetful hearers:
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. James 1:22
The life of faith consists of “doing” the Word according to the Revelation under which it is given; so then, a text of the Bible is not to be memorized, it is to be done. How to do it? The Revelation of the Spirit gives you the instruction on how to do it.
Thirdly, most of the time when a person feels that he can no longer walk in faith, that his or her strength is insufficient to continue in his or her walk with the Lord, it is because he or she has depended on his or her own capacities, his or her own strengths, on his or her own abilities, and not on the Lord. The gospel is of a spiritual nature, not human, and therefore the ability to keep walking in faith comes from the heavens, you can read it in the book of the prophet Joel:
Make swords of your hoes, spears of your pruning hooks; let the thin man say, I am strong. Joel 3:10
The apostle Paul presents it in his epistle to the Corinthians as follows:
And he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
So, I urge you to reconsider the subject again, and reorder the concepts, and you will see that life in Jesus will begin to be a life experience for you. Blessings.